Is Monogamy Natural?
Overheard on instant messenger today:
"Of course not but it's needed to support societies."
-Bennett Robinson, 25yr old single Black male
"If the definition of natural is occurring naturally, then monogamy is certainly the exception."
-Stephen L. Murphy, 25yr old engaged Caucasian male
Why didn't I ask any females? Because I am writing from a bias male centered point of view. Just kidding, this is what the ladies had to say.
"As a woman, I would like to think that it is (natural)."
When asked "Why?"
"Because I want to feel that I am a man's only. It is comforting and I would be his only so I would want that in return."
So there is nothing unnatural about monogamy to you?
"No, but there is nothing unnatural about polygamy either."
-Funky Brewster,24 year old single Black female
HUH?
"I don't think it's 'natural' to just want to be with one person because different people fill different voids in our lives.
Hopefully people find that one person that fills their biggest voids."
-Bianca, 26yr old aggresively dating female.
Author David Barash speaks of monogamy as a myth. "According to studies of the animal world, most of us are naturally inclined to 'cheat' or at least have more than one mate in a lifetime."
Oh okay, I feel you David. So you are saying that even the birds and the bees share themselves with other birds and bees.
I think that mankind felt at one point that it had something to prove, and I think monogamy was a way people chose to show we're better than our primal instincts. Of course over the course of time we should have realized that many of the things we deny ourselves to make ourselves less primal are actually just an unnecessary punishment, like prohibition and the abolition of prostitution.
Monty, a 2nd year law student says,"I think the only reason for monogamy is because we are inherently religious."
I would have to agree. Sidenote: I have always wondered about where Adam and Eve's only surviving son found someone to mate with after he left home.
It is interesting to me that most animals predicate their level of monogamy around their "culture's" requisite rearing responsibilities. (no that alliteration was not purposeful, I am no Jesse Jackson fan) Typically, the male impregnantes the female then goes back out to spearing gazelles, locking horns, or other obscure forms of territory marking.
"We don't sleep around because that's against the rules, not because we don't want to."
-Steve again
Terrance Howard, in his portrayal of Quentin in Malcolm D. Lee's THE BEST MAN offers, "If God wanted us to be with just one woman, he wouldn't have given us all this sperm."
What do you think?
"Of course not but it's needed to support societies."
-Bennett Robinson, 25yr old single Black male
"If the definition of natural is occurring naturally, then monogamy is certainly the exception."
-Stephen L. Murphy, 25yr old engaged Caucasian male
Why didn't I ask any females? Because I am writing from a bias male centered point of view. Just kidding, this is what the ladies had to say.
"As a woman, I would like to think that it is (natural)."
When asked "Why?"
"Because I want to feel that I am a man's only. It is comforting and I would be his only so I would want that in return."
So there is nothing unnatural about monogamy to you?
"No, but there is nothing unnatural about polygamy either."
-Funky Brewster,24 year old single Black female
HUH?
"I don't think it's 'natural' to just want to be with one person because different people fill different voids in our lives.
Hopefully people find that one person that fills their biggest voids."
-Bianca, 26yr old aggresively dating female.
Author David Barash speaks of monogamy as a myth. "According to studies of the animal world, most of us are naturally inclined to 'cheat' or at least have more than one mate in a lifetime."
Oh okay, I feel you David. So you are saying that even the birds and the bees share themselves with other birds and bees.
I think that mankind felt at one point that it had something to prove, and I think monogamy was a way people chose to show we're better than our primal instincts. Of course over the course of time we should have realized that many of the things we deny ourselves to make ourselves less primal are actually just an unnecessary punishment, like prohibition and the abolition of prostitution.
Monty, a 2nd year law student says,"I think the only reason for monogamy is because we are inherently religious."
I would have to agree. Sidenote: I have always wondered about where Adam and Eve's only surviving son found someone to mate with after he left home.
It is interesting to me that most animals predicate their level of monogamy around their "culture's" requisite rearing responsibilities. (no that alliteration was not purposeful, I am no Jesse Jackson fan) Typically, the male impregnantes the female then goes back out to spearing gazelles, locking horns, or other obscure forms of territory marking.
"We don't sleep around because that's against the rules, not because we don't want to."
-Steve again
Terrance Howard, in his portrayal of Quentin in Malcolm D. Lee's THE BEST MAN offers, "If God wanted us to be with just one woman, he wouldn't have given us all this sperm."
What do you think?
posted by Fast Molasses @ 9:42 AM
7 Comments:
At 1:03 PM,
Rae-T-L said…
I believe monogamy is ideal...but unnatural--the sexual act is natural!! That is why "man" rules the earth...we are able to be diciplined and show restraint (unlike the animals)...we also have a higher level of communication with which one can tell their partner "Hey, I love you...but I want to fuck that other person..." The most important thing in a monogamous relationship is honesty anyway!! If your partner can't except yoou and your need for sex then get a new partner!!
At 3:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
i hate the word "sperm."
/br
At 3:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
Reprahnire: definitely NOT natural...i don't know who came up with that BS
Phudge II: true
Reprahnire: but its obviously not BS because so many people believe in it
At 5:24 PM,
The Last Prince said…
There are a few animals that are notably monogomous. The penguin, the white wolf, but not the human. Ours is simply a product of our own insecurity. The thought process being "I'm with only you so you will be with only me."
Ask around, everyones response to "why dont you cheat?" is "I wouldnt want them to cheat on me."
Like two people in a shoving match, but nobody wants to throw the first punch. "...Why dont you hit me then nigga!"
At 11:08 PM,
T said…
I think what is natural is wanting stability, and that is what monogamy provides. Even cultures that practice polygamy take in wives FOR LIFE - again, stability. Also, there is something (if not natural) Beautiful about monogamy.. being with one person until the end. Having many different partners/lovers is not very beautiful; it's actually very messy.
At 9:06 PM,
backstage pass to concert said…
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At 4:28 PM,
armchair soulbrotha said…
it's wonderful that folks are investing these wonderful notions of choice and moral superiority that allow humankind to be monogamous. maybe it is too obvious for me to say that monogamy persists because the rearing of human children demanded it - and still demands it, to a lesser extent. the fact that moral, social and religious considerations have been draped over the initial concerns of biological "fitness" is showing its age at a time when humans have begun to show that the nuclear family unit is no longer necessary.
but that's too easy.
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