The 78th Annual Academy Awards-“A Return to Glamour”

That it was! With the extended coverage of the pre-show activities to whet the appetite and please the eye, it became obvious early on that this would be a night on which the stars would shine brighter than the flashing bulbs of the eager photographers who caught their every twinkle. From bejeweled bodices to trains longer than those run by Three Six Mafia in whatever hotel room they would occupy that evening, Hollywood’s best arrived in fine fashion to remind us of why we go to the movies.

“Martin Scorsese 0- Triple Six Mafia-1”—John Stewart

If there was ever a job interview disguised as a debut-hosting gig this was it. You can bet your ascot, Morgan Freeman, that the Daily Show’s host will have a Yearly Show hosting job perennially. Appropriate, Daily quipped early in the evening that Walk the Line was Ray with white people. It was this loosening of the belt around the waistline of racial, socio-ecomomic, political, and Semitic lines that told the story behind the other box score:

White hosts-77 Black Hosts-1 (Whoopi, I’m cutting you a break)

The show began with the first of many homage montage pieces that honored the hallmarks of American Cinema. Immediately following was a piece introducing John Stewart as this year’s host amongst the cannon of former Oscar hosts including, but thankfully not limited to, Chris Rock. Needless to say, apart from his Brokeback spoof with the “TV- has-added-30lbs-to-my face” Billy Crystal, Rock’s color commentary was appreciably absent.

“Raise your hand if you were not in Crash.”—John Stewart

Stewart began the show with a casual monologue that, true to forms of old, recognized the attendance of the Academy Award nominees.

The Academy doesn’t make too many mistakes. Well, there was the herding of the nominees onto the stage last year. Opting to allow this year’s nominees to remain seated, they were able to avoid the potential embarrassment of a pageant fourth runner up. This year’s producers set a beautiful backdrop for the likes of triple nominee, George Clooney who took this year’s first award for Best Supporting Actor in Syriana. As Clooney began to speak music began to play and was initially a distraction. In past productions we had become accustomed to hearing music as the indication to “Wrap it up B!” However this year each awardee’s speech was scored, which gave each acceptance speech the potential to be memorable. A return to glamour indeed.

With this return to glamour was a flooding of dry humor, led by our host with the most—dry humor that is. An award show is as much about the nominees as it is about the host. Stewart’s presence set the stage for such brilliant comedic bits as those delivered by Tom Hanks, Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell & Steve Carell. It was this duo’s commitment to their hilarious introduction to the nominees for Best Make up that will make room for comedic actors for years to come. As for Ben Stiller and the Amazing Green colored unitard? Quite possibly the most entertaining moment of the evening. Brilliant. But no presentation was better written, rehearsed, and executed than the introduction of the Honorary Oscar given to Robert Altman. Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin were kindred. If you missed it, you need to call that friend with TiVo.

“I am concerned that Triple Six Mafia is gonna get into it with Itzak Pearlman’s posse backstage”—John Stewart

“Sprint’s has no idea how to handle the number of calls crossing their lines right now” –Joe Carlos, (said after 3-6 was awarded.)

And I am sure cell busy signals were heard for the first time. It is insane how I felt like “we (had) overcome” for the briefest of seconds. Then I thought of the disparaging comments that would soon be uttered by bourgeoisie black mothers and fathers everywhere. I knew what kind of jokes they were making in Dollywood. I knew that when 3-6 got to the stage the Academy Awards would turn into the Source Awards, replete with bleeps thanks to the delay.

But then, I thought about Queen Latifah and Ludacris. I even thought about the first artist to win a Grammy for Hip-Hop, Will Smith. Rap artist’s whose lives were changed by exposure. I thought about all the people in M-town, who have never left M-town and got a chance to see one of their own at the Oscars. A program they might have never watched otherwise.

Besides all that, their performance was damn good. It was well choreographed; and having Taraji spotlight at the end made it respectable. The song was everything that it should have been. You don’t like the subject matter that’s on you.

I truly believe that the Triple Six Mafia was the most appreciative Academy Award winners that evening. It was written all over their faces and maybe soon all over their bodies. What other Oscar winners do you know who will probably get an Oscar tatted on their neck?

This production was seamless, sensational, and left nothing to be desired...well except for an award nominated role. In due time...


Did anyone else...

*know that Wolfgang Puck employed 350 cooks and 900 waiters in preparing the evening’s meal?
*wonder why they showed Michael Lomax as many times as they did?
*hear the winner of the Animated Short Film thank his “Talented Life Partner”?
*start missing Beyonce when Dolly Parton came on stage alone?
*love George Clooney for mentioning Hattie McDaniel?
*like the bowties on the awards?
*think the penguins were overdone?
*marvel at the editing for the Gay Cowboy movie montage?
*hear John Stewart say “effete”?
*see the trailer for Crash: The musical?
*hear the woman with Paul Haggis (Crash) thank her wife?
*hear a commentator say that Triple Six would use their Oscar to make a set of grillz?
*think that Clooney saying ‘no’ was a little Brokeback?
*feel disappointed in almost every acceptance speech? (Good one Reese)
*want Selma Hayek and J.Lo to announce the